Are You A Helicopter Parent?

The Parent Coach Plan

Logical Consequences vs. Punishment

The Love and Logic approach to parenting divides parents into three categories. These include helicopters, drill sergeants and consultants. Some parents fit exclusively into one category while others find themselves moving between two or more depending on the situation. Read on to learn more about your parenting style.

Helicopter parents focus primarily on rescuing and protecting their children. They find it very hard to allow their children to make mistakes as it is simply too painful for the both of them. The helicopter parent is the one you see delivering their child's lunch, homework or library book to the school office each day after he has forgotten it. In preventing their children from making mistakes, these parents send the message that the child is fragile and needs the parent assistance just to make it in the world. The result of this well intentioned parent is to regularly take deposits from the child's self-esteem bank. This leaves them thinking that they always need the parent to run interference.

Drill Sergeant parents are the ones you hear saying, "It's my way or the highway, kidoo, so listen up!". Again, these parents are well intentioned and invested in their parenting job but are unfortunately sending the message to their child that they can't think, that they need someone to boss them around and again, that they can't make it in life alone. Again, the demands and dominance of the drill sergeants take from the self-esteem bank of their children.

The third parenting style that Love and Logic parents strive towards is that of Consultant. Consultant parents give advice and then allow the child to make the decision. The child then lives with the consequences of the mistake when the price tag is affordable. These parents encourage their children to make decisions so they get lots of practice at it by the time the really high stakes decisions need made later in life. Consultant parents are great role models and never tell their kids what to do. Instead, they tell their kids what they will do. They offer choices to their children and let equal parts of empathy and consequence do the teaching.

For more information, visit the Love and Logic website. You may want to look into their tape/CD entitled Helicopters, Drill Sergeants and Consultants: Parenting Styles and the Messages They Send.

Welcome to The Purposeful Parent Newsletter. I hope you and your loved ones have something special planned this Valentine's Day. It is one of my favorite holidays - I hope the same is true for you.

Love and Logic seminars are scheduled to begin this month at Mountain View Middle School and Rockrimmon Elementary School in District 20. In March, the entire Love and Logic series is tentatively scheduled at Buena Vista Elementary School in District 11. All seminars are very reasonably priced so feel free to contact me if you or others you know are interested. The seminars are open to all and I do have a limited number of scholarships to offer if needed.

I continue to schedule individual coaching sessions and now have clients from Washington (state) to New York. Coaching sessions are usually 45 minutes in length and again, are very reasonably priced. Of course, the initial 45 minute phone consultation is free of charge and provides each client the opportunity to determine if we are a "good fit".

Educator coaching is also available for those in the profession wanting to strengthen classroom management skills and work even more effectively with the children they teach. I would also be happy to provide professional development opportunities for educators focusing on the book by Fay and Funk entitled Teaching With Love and Logic. Please contact me for more information.

If you would like to send a copy of the newsletter to a friend, colleague or another parent, please take a look below to do so. Also, if you would like to unsubscribe, you will find that link above. Finally, if you are a parent, make sure to look at the coupon at the end of the newsletter.

Again, enjoy the holiday!