Online Dating Tips for Single Moms
I realize this doesn't have much to do with parenting...though it's clear that there are a lot of single parents out there (including me!). I consider myself somewhat of a veteran when it comes to online dating...not because I've had tons of success or even a moderate amount, but because I've scanned probably thousands of women's profiles, engaged in way too many superficial "messaging" conversations, and have even taken the plunge and met a handful or two of women for dates.
I've had plenty of time (and experience) to form opinions and to make observations. With that being said, here are my observations and "words of wisdom" from an online dating veteran:
1. PAY ATTENTION to the red flags...they are a subtle (or not so subtle) reminder that the person is not right for you...
2. Women that flaunt their bodies on dating sites don't usually have much else to offer...and they are usually the first ones complaining that they can't find a "decent" guy. Yes, there IS a correlation.
3. 90% of "kissy faces" just look silly...very few women can pull off a good one. For me, a nice warm smile outdoes a "kissy face" any day.
4. As a woman, you have probably already been contacted by a handful of married men without even knowing it...it's quite possible you've even dated one.
5. Women always say that they are simply looking for a "good" guy...but in reality most are looking for the same thing that they claim most guys are looking for...eye candy.
6. "Trust" should never be the default position...it is something that needs to be earned. Be vigilant and be cautious...it could save you from a lot of heartbreak and possibly more.
7. If a woman says she wants to meet...then your chances just went from 0% to about 10% that it will actually happen. If a time and place are actually set then that chance skyrockets to about 25%. (online daters seem to be flaky by nature.)
8. Educate yourself on the subject of personality disorders. Dating sites are literally filled with people who have them. Recognizing the traits will help you weed out the "bad apples."
9. A quality girlfriend/boyfriend is worth the wait. Never settle because of loneliness or for any other "emotional" reason.
10. I don't know if I would prefer my situation (rarely getting contacted by women) or a typical woman's situation (getting bombarded with messages)...both seem undesirable.
11. If an individual can't provide a halfway decent picture of himself/herself then chances are that person has something to hide or has issues with his/her appearance. Show us something better than a blurry, backlit photo taken from an unnatural angle.
12. Speaking of pictures...most sites allow you to post multiple pictures...provide as many as you can.
13. If an individual puts little to no effort into their profile then imagine how much effort they will put into a potential relationship with you. There is usually a correlation.
14. Dog pictures? Not unless you are in the picture too!
15. Pictures of you in your Halloween costume? I can't begin to tell you how many guys are turned off by these...(just sayin').
16. There are a lot of great people on dating sites. Most are sitting at home dateless because they don't meet the physical qualifications needed to actually get a date. That's unfortunate.
17. There are a lot of jerks on dating sites as well. Many of them are out on dates multiple times each week because they DO meet the physical qualifications. That, too, is unfortunate.
18. There's no correct way to approach a woman when it comes to dating. If a guy asks a woman out too soon then he is perceived as too aggressive or too forward. If he doesn't do it soon enough then he is too passive, too wishy-washy, or "lacking in self-confidence." Different women will prefer different approaches...and it rarely seems to be the one that is used.
19. It's so much better to be politely rejected than to be conveniently ignored (at least that's MY opinion).
20. Tall women and short men have the smallest dating pools...think about it.
There you have it...my personal insights and advice for online daters. I hope you learned something!