For My Daughters: Is Your “Friend” Actually a “Good Friend?”

friendshipOver the last few years, my two daughters have entered into a handful of new friendships with a number of classmates, neighbors, teammates, and other “associates.”  Some of those friendships have stood the test of time (at least so far) and others have not.

So, what exactly is it that determines whether or not a particular friend should be elevated to the level of “good friend” or even “best friend?”

The answer to this question is probably best answered by asking further questions.  The answers are obvious and should be used to determine whether or not a friend is worth keeping…or if he/she should be kicked to the curb.

With that being said, here is a list of questions one should ask regarding a particular “friend:”

  1. Do you and your friend have anything in common?
  2. Does your friend “give” as much as she “takes?”
  3. Does your friend seem genuinely concerned about your feelings?
  4. Is your friend supportive?
  5. Does your friend encourage you to make good decisions?
  6. Is your friend a good listener?
  7. Can you confide in your friend?
  8. Does your friend “build you up” rather than “tear you down?”
  9. Is your friend honest and trustworthy?
  10. Is your friend tolerant and accepting of those that are “different” from her?
  11. Do you genuinely enjoy being around your friend?
  12. Do you ever get the feeling that your friend has taken advantage of you?
  13. Does your friend gossip about you to others?
  14. Does your friend “make fun” of others in an effort to be funny?
  15. Does your friend give off “positive vibes?”
  16. Does your friend ever pressure you to do things that you know aren’t right?
  17. Is your friend there for you always or is she simply a “fair-weathered” friend?
  18. Is your friend generous?
  19. Is your friend forgiving?
  20. Do you have a genuinely good time when you hang out with your friend?
  21. Does your friend have a positive outlook on life?
  22. Does your friend treat others with respect?
  23. Is your friend loyal? Will he/she stand by you through “thick and thin?”

So, how does your friend look to you now?  Has your opinion changed?  After answering these questions, is your friend worth keeping?