Student Contract

ParentCoachPlan.com offers a unique set of prewritten behavior contracts that address a variety of child-related and teen-related issues.  The most sought-after contract on the site is the student contract which is offered in their Behavior Management Package.

Sure, there are several other contracts in the package (besides the student contract) but for some reason it is the student contract that seems to get all of the attention.

The contract aims to keep students on-task, properly prepared for class, respectful of school property, and compliant with school rules.  The student contract is prewritten and can be downloaded immediately from the site then put into use shortly afterwards.

Along with the student contract are contracts that cover the following topics:

article student contractRespect

Responsibility

Safety

Character

Emotional Management

Following Directions

Specific Behaviors

Teachers love the student contract because it helps their students focus.  Parents love the contract for the same reason and also because there is built-in accountability since there are consequences for not meeting the contract’s expectations.

Because the student contract is so popular, ParentCoachPlan.com also includes it as part of their Classroom Management Plan (also available on their site).  It is also included in their “Teen Contracts Package” on their sister site www.TeenBehaviorContracts.com.

So, no matter which “behavior contract” package works best for you, there is certain to be a student contract included in that package.

If you are interested in checking out any of the aforementioned contract packages then please click on the relevant ads located in the right-hand column of this page.  You’ll then be taken to the site where these wonderful parenting tools are available.  The contracts are highly detailed and easy to use.  Simply print, read, and sign…then sit back and enjoy the results.

How I Almost Killed My Daughter…By Accident

daughterOkay, so here it is…a list of 7 ways in which I almost killed my daughter. If not for her resilience, my experience as a father may not have lasted past the first year. So glad she survived the errors of my ways!

With that being said, here’s my list:

  1. Didn’t slice a hot dog small enough when she was a toddler and she almost choked.
  2. Backed out of the garage and almost hit her, not realizing she had come out of the house to say goodbye.
  3. Didn’t put the “gate” up at the top of the stairs because I figured she was old enough to not try to navigate the stairs on her own. I was wrong.
  4. When she was one year-old I left her in a room for about 10 minutes…and in that room was a bag of packing peanuts that was within her reach. Fortunately, she had no interest in that bag!
  5. When she was an infant, I set her on a table at a restaurant (in her car seat) and forgot to stabilize it. She fell about 4’ off the table…face down. She was startled, but in better shape than me. Thank goodness she was still buckled in!
  6. Allowed her to play with Lego’s…way before I should have.
  7. Almost got into a car accident because I was too busy “appreciating her cuteness” in the rearview mirror.
  8. When she was in middle school I joined her and her friends during a dance party at our house. She almost died…of embarrassment!

This isn’t really something I did, but she once had a diaper that was so bad…it quite possibly could have killed her if I hadn’t changed it when I did.

So there you have it! I’ve confessed…and I feel much better now!

What to Do After Your Child has been Disciplined

after-disciplineAs parents, most of us eventually reach a point in which we are so experienced at dishing out consequences that we can practically do it in our sleep. Impressive? Yes. However, despite this incredible ability, there is still an important factor that is often overlooked by busy and/or preoccupied parents…and that is what to do AFTER you have disciplined your child.

More often than not, parents neglect to follow up with what I consider to be the important final steps to disciplining a child: processing, forgiving, and allowing the child to “save face.”

Keep in mind that these steps may not be necessary for all children but when a particular child is emotionally charged (after receiving his or her consequence) then these steps may go a long way in remedying the situation and turning it into a learning experience.

STEP 1: Process the situation

Make sure that your child…

1) knows which behavior it is that led to the consequence

2) understands why his or her actions were inappropriate, unsafe, or unacceptable

3) discusses some of the better choices that could have been made, and finally,

4) make sure that your child offers an appropriate apology.

STEP 2: Forgive

Calmly express your disappointment with regards to his behavior…but be sure to let him know that he is forgiven and that you are confident he will make a better choice next time.

STEP 3: Allow Your Child to “Save Face”

Find a subtle but kind gesture that allows your child to maintain his or her dignity. Apologize if you over-reacted or lost your temper while giving the consequence, give a quick but meaningful hug, say “I love you,” offer a Kleenex if he or she has been crying, etc. Let your child know that you appreciate his or her ability to accept and/or follow through with the consequence (if applicable). Be careful not to “reward” your child for his negative behavior by offering a treat (or such) afterwards.

So there you have it…three “follow up” steps to take after dishing out consequences.

Reality TV and Parenting

This last decade of television programming has brought with it a huge influx of reality-based shows that now seem to be on every channel one turns to. Many of these shows are ridiculous in nature, but there are some true gems among them. When I say “gems,” most of you probably assume that I’m talking about American Idol, Big Brother, or even Survivor. While there are millions of individuals that evidently find value in the above-mentioned shows, these are not the ones that I would describe as “gems.” I am instead talking about the small but highly informative group of “self help” shows. Dr. Phil, Nanny 911, and Supernanny all fit into that category. Yes, I realize that Nanny 911 is no longer on and that Supernanny is only being shown in reruns, but these shows do offer parents an entertaining format from which important parenting and/or relationship skills can be learned.

It is now possible to learn how to effectively use time out (or the “naughty spot” as it is referred to on Supernanny) or to recognize the warning signs associated with common childhood disorders (as identified by Dr. Phil on his show). Nanny 911 taught frustrated parents the correct way to put a non-compliant sleeper to bed as well as how to get fussy eaters to eat. These are only a few examples of the advice, tips, and techniques that parents can learn from these shows then use to effectively manage their difficult children. Clearly, there is a lot that can be learned from these informative shows. If you are a frustrated or overwhelmed parent looking for solutions to your child’s unruly behavior, give these shows a try. You’re likely to learn valuable parenting and discipline tips that can benefit your family and/or child (unless, of course, Dr. Phil’s guests are there in an effort to fix their annoying habits of juggling in their sleep or of unintentionally burping the alphabet every time they drink a sip of soda!). Looking for help with YOUR difficult or challenging child?

In addition to watching these shows, you can find a wonderful set of parenting and discipline tools at the following sites:

wwww.parentcoachplan.com

www.behavior-contracts.com

www.teenbehaviorcontracts.com

Young woman watching television, rear view

 

 

FREE Behavior Contract – Print and Use!

Hi Everyone!

I just created a new (and FREE) behavior contract that all you parents out there can use!  This free behavior contract is fairly general in that it covers a variety of behaviors and doesn’t stick to one specific behavior or character trait (like the others I have created for www.parentocahplan.com or www.teenbehaviorcontracts.com).  I have some other free behavior contracts available on our other blog over at www.freebehaviorcontracts.wordpress.com.  Again, the free contracts available on that site are all pretty generic…but helpful nonetheless.

free behavior contract

11 Tips for Being a Good Friend

good-friendsBe considerate. Being considerate means that you are being thoughtful and kind.  Make sure that you always take your friend’s feelings into consideration when making a decision that affects him or her.  Avoid doing things that will lead to hurt feelings or resentment

Be willing to make sacrifices for your friend.

Be supportive. Support your friend in any way you can.  If he plays a sport and you go to his game then cheer him on and root for his team.  If your friend has a cause that she believes very strongly in then you could show support by joining her in furthering that cause.  There are many ways in which you can support your friends.

Be understanding. It helps to understand your friend’s moods and to know a little bit about what he or she has gone through in life.  The better you know your friend the easier it is to understand him or her.

Remember the things that are important to your friend. A good friend should know such things as what their friend’s favorite color, song, singer, band, foods, activities (and so on) are.

Be a good listener.

Avoid gossiping or talking behind your friend’s back. This is one of the quickest and easiest ways to LOSE a friend.  Be careful what you say.

Be positive. Nobody wants to hang out with someone that drags them down. 

Be willing to put your friend first at times.

Be loyal. Being loyal means that your friend can trust you.  It also means that you are dedicated and devoted to your friend.  You stick by your friend “through thick and thin.”

Keep your word. If you say you’ll do something then do it.  Be dependable.

Addressing Risky Teen Behavior

We all know the issues and concerns associated with teen behavior.  What teen hasn’t engaged, to some degree, in at least some sort of risky behavior?  After all, it’s almost expected during those years.

Risky behavior isn’t the only thing parents have to worry about when it comes to their teenaged children…there’s dating, driving, cell phone usage, participation in sports, substance use, social media, negative attitudes, unusual hairstyles, school grades, and so much more that parents must worry about.

So, what can parents do to alleviate this worry?  Is there anything that can be done to minimize this risky behavior?

Communication

The first step parents can take is to communicate with their teen.  Communication should be open, honest, constructive, and validating.  Avoid roadblocks to communication such as criticizing, yelling, over-reacting, name-calling, or monopolizing the conversation.  Your teen wants and needs to be heard.

Keeping Tabs

Next, parents need to keep tabs on their teens.  This means checking in on them regularly and insisting that they do the same.  When asked, teens should be expected to notify parents of where they are at, who they are with, and what they are doing.  If there is any reason to doubt where the teen is then verify it by showing up or by confirming it in another way (phone calls to parents or locations, etc.).

Searching the Web

Specific behavior issues might arise which need special attention.  Perhaps the teen is stealing, sneaking out at night, bullying, causing problems at school, or even texting while driving.  An excellent source for “intervention” ideas is the good ol’ internet.  Google the specific problem and see what others have done to address the issue.  There is a wealth of information out there waiting to be found.

Counseling or Other Treatment

If all else fails and the risky teen behavior becomes too much to handle then it might be time to seek outside help in the form of counseling or some other type of treatment.  If counseling is sought after then it would be best to choose a counselor or therapist that is the same gender as your teen and one that has a considerable amount of experience with adolescents and teens.  Hospitalization and residential treatment are also an option if safety becomes an issue or if there is suspected substance use or mental health issues.

Behavior Contracts for Teensaddressing risky teen behavior

If things are manageable but in need of a little consistency, structure, and accountability then perhaps you could try using a teen behavior contract.  Teen behavior contracts are designed to establish firm limits and clear boundaries.  Teens are then held accountable for their risky behavior since they are bound by the rewards and consequences outlined in the contract.

If you are interested in learning more about teen behavior contracts then please visit http://www.teenbehaviorcontracts.com/.

Teaching Kids to Take Pride in their Appearance

Here are a few tips for teaching children and teens the proper way to take pride in their appearance.

pride in appearance

  1. Shower and/or bathe regularly.  Children older than 7 years old should shower a minimum of every-other-day (my opinion anyway).  Children and tweens should shower daily once they hit middle school…though an occasional day off is acceptable every few days or so.
  1. Wear clean clothes every day. This includes clean underwear!
  1. Wear nice clothes that are practical, that match, and that are situation-specific. Be sure to consider the day’s weather and the day’s activities.   Children and teens should dress modestly and should avoid wearing clothes that don’t fit properly.
  1. Take care of your hair. Keep it clean, trimmed, and in style.  It shouldn’t look like you just rolled out of bed…nor should it look as though it is housing a small family of rodents.
  1. Wear deodorant and/or a nice scent. People that smell good always leave a pleasant and lasting impression!  Be careful not to over-do  it…too much is worse than none!
  1. Use accessories to add some pizazz! A nice bracelet, ring, and/or necklace will compliment most outfits.  Girls might want to sport a cute pair of earrings, a fashionable headband or a pretty bow to accentuate their hairstyle while boys might choose to accessorize with a baseball cap.  A nice pair of shades can boost anyone’s level of “coolness.”
  1. Maintain good oral hygiene. Take good care of your teeth.  Brush and floss them regularly and be sure to visit your dentist every six months or so for a good professional cleaning.  You may not be too concerned about your teeth as a pre-teen but as you get older you will be glad you established healthy habits with regards to your teeth. Tune in regularly to know more about that here.
  1. Smile often. Nothing shows confidence better than a nice smile.  People notice smiles and they enjoy being around people who display them frequently.

11 Annoying Behaviors That Drive Parents Crazy!

deal-with-an-annoying-kid-SuperBabyAs parents, I’m sure we’ve dealt with some (if not all) of the following annoying behaviors from our children.  Though none of them necessarily indicate a need for treatment or therapy…they sure do drive us crazy!

  1. Whining. This has to be the number one most annoying child behavior ever known in the history of ever!  I’d rather listen to fingernails down a chalkboard.
  2. Messiness. There’s nothing more annoying than kids that leave their messes all over the place…okay, whining is more annoying…but messiness is definitely high on the list!
  3. Dawdling. Kids that “take their time doing things” are making it tough for those of us that want to “get moving!”  This is the ultimate in passive-aggressive behavior.
  4. Complaining. If I hear “That’s not fair!” one more time then I’m probably going to do something that really isn’t fair!
  5. Impulsiveness. This is when kids fail to think before they act.  These kids can snatch, grab, hit, and pinch (and so on) when they are upset or frustrated.
  6. Tattling. There’s no reason for kids to do this unless there’s a safety issue at hand…and 9 times out of 10 there is not.
  7. Having a sense of entitlement. For these kids nothing is ever good enough for them.  You can offer five different things for dinner and they will always want a sixth option (most of the time these kids aren’t very appreciative of the things that they DO get because they actually expect it).
  8. Bickering. Without siblings this would not be a problem.
  9. Picky Eating. Enough said!
  10. Annoying Habits. You know, like nose-picking, nail-biting, constant humming, hair-twirling, picking at scabs, or simply bouncing all over the place!
  11. Ignoring (aka, Selective Listening). Little Johnny is only three feet from you but he still can’t seem to hear you when you ask him to take the trash out.  Mumble something about snack time and he’s there in a flash.

14 Things I Once Did That I Sincerely Hope My Daughters Never Do

  1. Took a dare that I never should have taken.   Yes, I was about 13 years old when a good friend of mine (even to this day) offered me $10 to eat a big ol’ chunk of canned dog food…I believe it was ALPO (is that even around anymore?).  Anyway, the result?  Well, I almost choked to death…seriously.  Not only that, but it took me over 13 years to collect that $10…by that time the $10 was only worth about $1.65!  I hope my daughters are smarter than me (although something tells me I didn’t set the bar too high!).  Never do something stupid simply because someone dared you to do it (or because you felt pressured to do so).
  2. Drank more than I should have. Seriously?  This is a subject I could write a whole book about.  Just don’t do it.  Have fun, but pace yourself and maintain control of your faculties…you’ll be so happy that you did.
  3. Dated someone that I shouldn’t have. Again, I could write a whole book on this subject (actually, that’s not a bad idea!).  Anyway, never date someone just to “pass the time,” to boost your self-esteem, or because you are “lonely.”  Wait for someone that deserves you, someone of substance, and someone who is worth your time…you’ll be glad you did.  Please, don’t EVER date someone that you intend to “fix”…you won’t succeed and you’ll undoubtedly get hurt…trust me on this one!
  4. Allowed someone to talk me into a “multi-level marketing” endeavor.  They all end the same way…(90% chance you will have wasted a considerable amount of your time and have lost money in the meantime).
  5. Betrayed the trust of a close friend or family member. Thankfully, my “incident” was very minor…thank goodness!   Friends and family are too important…don’t do anything to jeopardize those relationships (assuming those relationships aren’t toxic)!
  6. Took unnecessary risks. There are so many things that I can look back on and think to myself, “What the heck was I thinking?”  The less of those moments you have, the better.
  7. Took on the responsibility of a pet before I was ready. Trust me, pets are a lot of work and they don’t deserve to have an owner that isn’t prepared for the responsibilities that go along with owning them.  WAIT until you are ready!  Keep in mind too, that pets are considered “baggage” if you happen to be single and looking.
  8. Worried too much about what others thought of me.  It doesn’t matter what other people think of you.  “Like” yourself first and things will flow from there.
  9. Maintained a long friendship with a highly toxic individual. Seriously, don’t waste your time.  These people will literally suck the life out of you.  If I could only have all of that wasted time back!
  10. Took on unnecessary debt. Just because Visa was “generous” enough to issue you a credit card does not mean that you need to use it to indulge in gratuitous spending sprees.
  11. Loaned a significant amount of money to someone. Go ahead and do so, but always assume that you will never see that money again…and that the relationship you once had with that individual will be very different than it was before you loaned out the money.  I’m not saying you shouldn’t be generous, but be smart about it.
  12. Sent naked pictures over the internet. Actually, I’ve never done this…and neither should you!  EVER!
  13. Put my social life ahead of my studies. There’s certainly nothing wrong with being social, but balance it well and don’t let your social life derail your ability to do well in school.
  14. Allowed myself to believe that certain behaviors were wrong even though they were NOT. Often times, religion has us believing that a lot of “natural” or “normal” behaviors are wrong…when they, in fact, are not.  Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.  If the behavior isn’t illegal, harmful to yourself or others and/or if it doesn’t intrude upon anyone else’s rights then there’s a good chance that the behavior you are engaging in is perfectly okay.  Use good judgment.  Enjoy your life…but be cautious.

So here you have ‘em…just a few of the mistakes that I made that I hope my daughters are able to avoid. Stay tuned for parts 2, 3, 4, and 5 of the mistakes I made that I hope my daughters never make.

Seriously, you don’t actually believe I’ve made THAT many mistakes, do you?

The Family Meeting: Purpose, Agenda, and Tips

Family-Meeting-620x480One of the most practical ways to address family issues on a regular basis is to conduct a family meeting each week (or month).  A regularly-scheduled and well-orchestrated family meeting can go a long way towards developing structure, consistency, and even cohesion within the household.

 

PURPOSE

The purpose of a family meeting is to gather the family together in one place for a period of time each week/month so that members can spend constructive, quality time together discussing various issues or concerns that might need to be addressed.  This also affords each family member an opportunity to “be heard.”

 

AGENDA

It is best if each family meeting follows a consistent agenda.  Some “agenda” ideas are as follows:

  • Discuss any particular issues that might need to be addressed within the family.
  • Discuss family rules (as well as the consequences that will be earned for breaking them).
  • Discuss family problems then brainstorm possible solutions to those problems.
  • Discuss the roles and expectations that each family member has.
  • Announce plans for upcoming outings, vacations, and/or events.
  • Delegate chores to each family member.
  • End each family meeting with a fun little “family game.”

TIPS

  1. Determine a set of “Family Meeting Rules” during your first meeting. Be sure to write them down and follow them during each meeting.
  2. Have the family meeting at the same time and place each week, allowing for emergency time changes as necessary.
  3. Make sure ALL family members participate and are able to be heard.
  4. Put all decisions from the meeting in writing. Have each family member sign the sheet when the meeting ends (see our “Family Meeting Minutes” worksheet).
  5. Keep things positive! Have rules against specific behaviors like name-calling, interrupting, insulting others, or using inappropriate language.
  6. Minimize distractions. Turn off smart phones and eliminate TV’s and/or radios from the equation.

“Family Rules” Suggestions for Parents

Ashley 7Though many families have “unwritten” family rules, it never hurts to have them posted in a place where all family members can see them.  Family rules should be clear, specific, and stated in the positive (try to avoid too many “no’s”).

Trying to come up with a list of family rules?  Here are some suggestions to start out with:

1.  Homework must be finished before…(playing with friends, watching TV, going outside, etc.)

2.  Dessert will be served after you have eaten (1/2, 2/3, all) of your meal.

3.  Dirty laundry belongs only in the hamper.

4.  Your bedroom must be kept presentable at all times.

5.  Food is to be kept out of…(the TV room, your bedroom, the basement, the car, etc.)

6.  Everyone needs to be on time for dinner.

7.  Shoes must be worn outside at all times.

8.  Voice levels must be kept reasonable while inside.

9.  Chores must be completed before…(dinner, bedtime, TV, playing, etc.)

10.  Showers/baths must be taken…every day, every two days, three times per week, etc.)

11.  Shoes need to be kept off of the furniture.

12.  Electronic devices are to be turned off (or kept away from) the dinner table.

13.  Appropriate language is to be used at all times.

14.  Hands must be washed after using the bathroom and before meals.

15.  Trash belongs in the trash can.

16.  Clean up after yourself.

17.  Avoid being wasteful (use only what you need, re-use things when possible, recycle, etc.).

18.  Get permission before having friends over.

19.  Knock before entering a closed door (especially if you know that someone is in there).

20.  Treat other family members with respect.

21.  If you disagree with a limit (or with a direction that has been given to you) then do so calmly and without whining, arguing, bargaining, complaining, or being rude. You will only be listened to if you state your disagreement calmly (though this doesn’t mean the limit or direction will necessarily change).

22.  Only interrupt a parent that is on the phone if there is an emergency that can’t wait.

23.  Refrain from dangerous, careless, aggressive, and/or risky behavior.

24.  Brush your teeth (once, twice) per day.

25.  Wear clothes that are appropriate for the circumstances and the weather.

These 25 family rules should get you off to a great start.  Perhaps a family meeting is in order…and during that time you could discuss these potential family rules and even discuss the consequences that should be expected for violating them.

If you’d like to take things a step further and actually put into place a child behavior program then please visit www.ParentCoachPlan.com for more information.

Can a Child Discipline Program Benefit Your Family?

Child discipline is no easy task. It involves a great deal of trial-and-error, countless hours of negotiation, high levels of frustration, headaches, and a level of stress that nobody should have to endure. Welcome to the wonderful world of parenting!

Despite all of the challenges that go along with child discipline, there are things that parents can do to minimize the negative effects that go along with parenting a difficult child.

A child discipline program (or behavior plan) can turn those nasty headaches into sighs of relief and can minimize parental stress and frustration to levels that are barely noticeable.

What is a child discipline program?

A child discipline program is essentially a formal parenting plan that helps parents to guide their children towards better behavior. An effective discipline program will help to establish a firm, fair, consistent, and structured environment for the children. With these elements in place, improved behavior is sure to follow.

How will a child discipline program benefit my family?

As stated above, a well-executed discipline program will establish an environment that is conducive to better behavior. It establishes firm limits, clear expectations, and consistent consequences (whether positive or negative) for the child. For some children, these qualities alone are enough to motive them to behave better.

How do I know that a child discipline program will work for my child?

Simply put, you don’t. However, behavior programs have been proven effective in residential treatment centers, psychiatric facilities, and even in therapeutic foster homes that use them. If these behavior programs (discipline programs) can produce positive results in these types of settings, then imagine what they could do in your home.

If child discipline has you feeling like it might be time to “throw in the white towel” then perhaps a child discipline program is just what you need.

The Parent Coach Plan is one such program. This unique and easy-to-use behavior program is modeled after a highly successful behavior program that was once used in a prestigious facility that caters to children and adolescents with severe emotional and behavioral problems. Though The Parent Coach Plan has been modified for in-home use, it still possesses all of the same attributes that make it so effective.

If you are tired of dealing with the chaos and frustration caused by your child’s negative or inappropriate behavior then perhaps you should give The Parent Coach Plan a try.

“But I’m not sure if I can afford an expensive discipline program for my child,” you might say.

Well, the good news is that you don’t have to spend an arm and a leg to purchase The Parent Coach Plan’s discipline program. It is offered on their site for about the same price as a newly-released DVD.

That’s right! You can purchase this incredible program for less than it would cost to take a family of three out for dinner! Not only that, but customers that purchase The Parent Coach Plan also get a FREE download

Discipline Program

Parent Coach Plan Program

($14.95 value) that includes a set of behavior contracts, a behavior chart system, a set of “Behavior Bucks,” and more. This download comes FREE with your purchase of the child discipline program (behavior program) and can be used immediately after your purchase.

Oh, one more thing: The behavior program (The Parent Coach Plan) also includes a section that includes parenting tips, discipline advice, and other information…as well as a “coping-skills” section and a section that includes an exclusive set of useful parenting tools!

We hope you consider giving it a try! We think you’ll love the results!

Getting Your Kids to Clean Up Around the House: A Fun Little Game to Try

603579_10152297786818006_413681953_nHere’s a little game or “contest” I tried with my kiddos a few days ago when our house was beginning to look a bit…um, disastrous. It actually motivated them to clean up most of the house and they seemed to have fun doing it.

I started off by telling them that I was going to write down four random things that needed to be done around the house. In this instance, I chose the following:

  1. Put the soda can on dad’s computer desk into the recycling bin
  2. Straighten the pillows on the loveseat
  3. Vacuum the entryway
  4. Wipe down the kitchen table.

I wrote these tasks down on a piece of paper then I folded it up without showing them what was listed. I instructed them both to start cleaning and told them that whoever ended up doing what was on the list would get a special treat. One “treat” was available for each task that was completed.

Since my kiddos had no idea what was on the list, they had to do as much cleaning as they could, as fast as they could, in the hopes that one of the tasks they completed was one from the list.

I then went and took a nice long shower and told them that I would be checking their progress once I was done.

By the time I came out of the shower, our house was in pretty good shape! The floors were vacuumed, the table was wiped down, all of their toys and other items were put away (except for that soda can on my desk!).

The other part of the deal was this: For EACH task that did NOT get done, BOTH of them would owe me a 5-minute foot massage!

In the end, one daughter earned two treats (an ice cream sandwich and 15 extra minutes on her iPad before bedtime), my other daughter earned one treat (an ice cream sandwich), and I earned a 5-minute foot massage from each of them (due to the forgotten soda can!)…not a bad deal all the way around.

And we ALL got a clean house!

The Entitled Child

“When a child is allowed to do absolutely as he pleases, it will not be long until nothing pleases him.”  -anonoymous

entitled childThis quote perfectly describes the “entitled child.”  Too often, I’ve had to sit back and literally “bit my lip” while watching friends of mine make a parenting style out of this quote.

Children need boundaries, limits, and expectations.  They also need a parent with a backbone.  Too often, parents find that it is simply easier to give-in to their children rather than enforcing limits and/or rules.  They don’t want to engage in a power struggle, or worse yet, make their child upset.  I say “LET THEM BE UPSET!”

There’s no reason any parent should have to bend over backwards simply to appease their child…this is what creates an entitled child.

An entitled child believes that he deserves to be treated special…that he should get “preferential treatment.”  This is a great way to teach narcissism.

How can you tell if your child is entitled?

He or she is more of a “taker” more than a “giver”

He or she complains about having to do basic chores

He or she always wants an option that wasn’t offered

He or she frequently tries to bargain or make deals

He or she pouts when things don’t go as desired

He or she is impatient and/or has a low frustration tolerance

He or she expects others (usually the parents) to fix their problems

He or she always expects to have the “latest” fad or fashion

 

How can you avoid raising an entitled child?

START YOUNG!

Discourage the “materialistic” mindset

Teach and practice patience

Help your entitled child “give back” to the community

Get out of the habit of rewarding your child for every positive behavior

Avoid allowing your child to negotiate options that weren’t offered

Avoid bailing your child out of trouble every time

Set firm limits and enforce them