Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories.
If you have never been hated by your child you have never been a parent.
Simply having children does not make mothers.
~John A. Shedd
If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.
~Abigail Van Buren
The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy.
~Robert A. Heinlein
Although there are many trial marriages... there is no such thing as a trial child.
Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.
~Charles R. Swindoll
If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family.
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.
You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
~Franklin P. Jones
Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
The most important thing that parents can teach their children is how to get along without them.
~Frank A. Clark
It is better to bind your children to you by a feeling of respect and by gentleness, than by fear.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.
Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your kids.
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"
Being a mother isn't simply a matter of having children. To think that is as absurd as believing that having a piano makes one a musician.
You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.
~P. J. O'Rourke
I was cesarean born. You can't really tell, although whenever I leave a house, I go out through a window
Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.
~P. J. O'Rourke
When a child is allowed to do absolutely as he pleases, it will not be long until nothing pleases him.
Everyone is in awe of the lion tamer in a cage with half a dozen lions - everyone but a school bus driver.
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it, or leave it.
Families with babies and families without are so sorry for each other.