How to Create a Behavior Contract That Actually Works

Here’s a simple formula you can follow:

1. Pick ONE Behavior to Focus On

Start small. Examples:

• Completing homework before screens

• Getting up on time

• Keeping a clean room

• Speaking respectfully

• Following a bedtime routine

If your child struggles in multiple areas, don’t overwhelm them (or yourself). Mastery happens one behavior at a time.

2. Define the Behavior in Clear, Measurable Terms

Avoid vague statements like:

• “Be respectful”

• “Stop fighting with your sister”

• “Keep your room clean”

Better examples:

• “Use a calm voice when disagreeing”

• “Keep hands and feet to yourself at all times”

• “Clothes go in the hamper and toys off the floor daily by 8 PM”

If you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it.

3. Add a Reward or Privilege

This is where the psychology comes in (more below).

Simple examples:

• Screen time

• Playdate

• Later bedtime on weekends

• Earning allowances

• Access to the car (for teens)

Make sure the reward matches your child’s age and what actually motivates them.

4. Add a Fair, Logical Consequence

A consequence should be:

• Predictable

• Related when possible

• Not harsh

• Something you can follow through with consistently

Example: “If the chore is not completed, screens are paused until the chore is done.”

5. Review It Together

Kids must feel they have a say. They don’t need to agree 100%, but they should feel respected and heard.

If your child helps create the contract, they are far more likely to follow it.

6. Track Progress

Use a simple:

• Checklist

• Weekly chart

• Point system

• Sticker tracker

• Digital app

• Printed worksheet

Tracking matters. Kids are visual. Progress motivates them.