Teen Behavior
Problems:
Preventing and
Managing Teen
Issues
There’s no doubt that teenagers can present parents with a whole new set of challenges. Teen behavior problems can take many forms, and new issues and crises can seem to present themselves consistently—and often without warning.
Some of the more common teen issues that parents may encounter include eating disorders, substance use and abuse, defiance, running away, law-breaking, depression, bullying, negative peer influences, and problems related to image and appearance, to name just a few.
Dealing with serious teen behavior problems can be stressful and exhausting for an entire family. In some cases, ongoing behavioral or emotional problems can create significant conflict and damage the relationship between a teenager and his or her parents.
Fortunately, parents don’t have to simply wait for problems to occur. There are both preventative and reactive strategies that can help parents address teen behavior problems and provide their teenagers with the structure, support, and guidance they need.
Preventing Teen Behavior Problems
The first step in addressing potential teen behavior problems is prevention. One of the best ways parents can prevent problems from escalating is to communicate effectively and regularly with their teenagers.
Talk about difficult issues before they arise, and spend time discussing possible solutions to problems your teen may encounter. Conversations about drugs, alcohol, sex, peer pressure, bullying, social media, school, relationships, and other challenging subjects can help prepare your teenager to make better decisions.
Parents should also keep an eye out for warning signs and take action when they notice them. Don’t allow your teenager to simply act as though there is “nothing wrong” when your instincts tell you otherwise. Trust your instincts. If something seems wrong, there’s a good chance that something needs attention.
Ask questions, listen carefully, and try to understand what your teen may be experiencing before deciding how to respond.
Teach Your Teen Coping Skills
Another important way to prevent or reduce teen behavior problems is to equip your child with a useful set of coping skills. Teenagers need healthy ways to deal with stress, anger, frustration, anxiety, disappointment, peer pressure, and other difficult emotions.
Teach your teenager techniques such as thought-stopping, self-soothing, positive self-talk, problem-solving, and relaxation techniques. These skills can help teens manage difficult emotions, cope with stressful situations, and make better decisions.
Effective teen behavior management isn’t simply about consequences and discipline. It’s also about teaching teenagers the skills they need to manage themselves.
There are many books and resources that discuss these skills in depth, as well as numerous resources available online where parents can learn more about teaching them. Our book, The Parent Coach Plan, also includes a section that addresses these techniques.
Managing Teen Behavior Problems
If preventative measures aren’t enough, parents may need to take more direct action. There are many different approaches to managing teen behavior problems, and the appropriate response will depend on the seriousness of the problem, the teen’s age, and the circumstances involved.
Behavior Management Programs
Consider implementing a structured teen behavior management program in your home. A behavior management program can give parents and teenagers a clear framework for addressing inappropriate behavior while establishing consistent expectations and consequences.
The Parent Coach Plan is one such option. It includes a simple discipline plan that can be customized to fit the specific needs of your child. It can be found at www.parentcoachplan.com.
Behavior Contracts for Teens
Another useful tool for addressing teen behavior problems is a behavior contract. A behavior contract can provide a structured environment with clearly defined expectations, responsibilities, consequences, and rewards.
The goal is to make expectations clear and reduce the arguments and misunderstandings that can occur when parents and teenagers have different ideas about rules and responsibilities.
You can find behavior-contract resources on this page at www.parentcoachplan.com.
Therapy for Teen Issues
Consider therapy if your teenager is experiencing serious emotional, behavioral, or mental health issues. Professional counseling can be particularly helpful when a teen is dealing with substance use, eating disorders, depression, severe anxiety, self-destructive behavior, or other problems that require a more intensive approach.
Therapy can also give parents guidance on how to respond to difficult teen behavior problems and improve communication within the family.
Residential Treatment
Residential treatment may be an option for teenagers who need a more intensive level of care. These programs typically provide a highly structured environment and may address behavioral and emotional issues through individual and group therapy.
Residential treatment can be expensive and may last anywhere from several days or weeks to several months, depending on the program and the needs of the teenager. Insurance coverage varies, so parents should carefully investigate both the program and their insurance benefits before making a decision.
Highly Structured Programs
Some parents consider highly structured programs when their teenager is demonstrating severe defiance, repeated behavioral problems, or involvement with the juvenile justice system.
Parents should carefully research any program before considering it, including its philosophy, staff qualifications, safety record, treatment methods, and outcomes. Not every program is appropriate for every teenager, and a program should be selected based on the individual needs of the teen rather than simply the severity of the behavior.
Hospitalization
Hospitalization may be necessary when a teenager is experiencing a serious mental health or behavioral crisis and is a danger to himself or herself or to others.
If your teen is in immediate danger, seek emergency assistance or call 911. A mental health professional or emergency department can help determine what level of care is appropriate.
Juvenile Detention or Legal Consequences
Juvenile detention or involvement with the justice system may occur when a teenager commits a serious offense. While this is certainly not an option most parents would want to utilize, there are circumstances in which legal consequences are appropriate.
Parents should distinguish between normal teenage experimentation or occasional misbehavior and serious behavior that places the teenager or others at risk. The response should be proportionate to the behavior and focused, whenever possible, on accountability and rehabilitation.
Finding Help for Teen Behavior Problems
There are many options available when it comes to dealing with teen issues and behavior problems. The best way to determine what course of action is appropriate for you and your teenager is to talk with people who are familiar with the process of seeking help.
Consider speaking with a school counselor, psychologist, therapist, physician, support group, crisis resource, or another qualified professional who can help you understand your options.
Most importantly, don’t be afraid to seek more than one opinion. After speaking with one source of advice or information, consider getting a second opinion as well. Different professionals may offer different perspectives, and gathering information can help you make a more informed decision about what is best for your teenager and your family.
Whether you are dealing with defiance, anger, substance use, depression, school problems, peer pressure, or another difficult issue, remember that teen behavior problems can often be addressed with the right combination of communication, structure, consistency, support, and professional help.
The goal of effective teen behavior management isn’t simply to punish inappropriate behavior. It is to help your teenager develop the skills, responsibility, and decision-making abilities needed to become a healthy and independent adult.
